I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
