I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
