Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
