And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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