what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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