New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
