I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I stole a fireplace last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
