he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
