Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize