the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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