I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
