the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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