mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
