he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
