her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
