pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
