I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so let's talk penis.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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