last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
