In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
