Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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