I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We got so high we made milksteak
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Randomize
