Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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