I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
