Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
