Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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