My brain says no but my pants say off.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
