I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
should my penis look like a turkey
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
