Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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