I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
