They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
