I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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