I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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