Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
