I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
