I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
