I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
you never un-have a 4some
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
