You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
