Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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