Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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