Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize