One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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