i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
