That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
