operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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