Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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