I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
