it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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