I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
