I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
