The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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