I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Who put my cat in the fridge?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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