CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
