What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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