Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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