i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
