I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
