Life is so much better after having sex.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
