are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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