I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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