when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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