You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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