bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
