Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
