Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
