I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
