When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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