where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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