are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
