what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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