Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize