you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
